How to Dial a Phone

Today I seem to be having trouble dialing a phone. I must be doing something wrong, boss informs me.

That's her story. My story is that she is a raging idiot. I can dial a phone perfectly well, been doing it for many years now. I can't control what happens at the other end. This morning I called her finance woman but each time it stopped ringing and it sounded like someone picked up, yet no one spoke. So clearly I dialed it wrong. Then she dials and holds down half of the keys for 10 seconds each. THAT is apparently the correct way to dial.

Then later on she had me call some dude about tomorrow night, and I got his voicemail. So I say I will try his other number. Her response is, "You must have dialed the wrong number. You have his home number and his cell number."

"Yes I dialed his number and got his machine. I'm dialing his cell phone as we speak."

WHY doesn't she understand that the world is not sitting around waiting for her calls???

OH and last night I called her, just to be nice, and unluckily my phone froze, which apparently tied up her line for 20 seconds. So when I got through, I apologized for tying up her line and she told me that she was waiting for an URGENT phone call and I can't do that! Meanwhile she doesn't have call waiting and she's always calling people, therefore tying up her own line.

BITCH BITCH BITCH. And this is her in a good mood, with her liking me. I MUST GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!